This one’s for the girls: (a recruitment week survival package)

As promised..

4 years ago, I went through rush. It was easily the top five most challenging experiences of my college career. I am not going to lie about this.. I was HORRIBLY unprepared for the kind of intense singing, dancing, clapping, rhythmic movements, overly cheesy conversations, and decision making that went on for 5 straight days. Still, I would put on a brave face, smile my freaking head off and try my very very best to not look like a sweaty teenage boy. I failed horribly at 1/3 of these but luckily, my good looks really are what got me through the whole exhausting experience.

Bid Day 2007. The first girl I met was going to be my best friend. Ya, luckily.

Any one who tells you that recruitment is easy is LYING. Even someone who could talk to a cardboard box and become friends (namely, myself) wanted to die from the entire experience. And if it was easy for them, then they totally suck and probably have perfect hair and never sweat and are named Bunny or something equally vomitizingly obscure.

And the girls who have older sisters or friends in houses (THAT GUARANTEED THEM A SPOT NO MATTER WHAT blahblahblah) STILL had to sit through the long hours, the horrendous heat and hang out with the bitchy, the loud, and the potentially brain-dead other 700 girls going through it. It’s almost enough to make one want to drop out of the whole process.. almost.

Because here’s what you don’t understand when you are going through it– I promise with the positivity of someone who went through hell and back for her damn sorority, no matter if you are going through recruitment or on the other side recruiting…that it is absolutely one hundred and fifty percent worth it.

You will not die! You will survive this week! And you want to know why? Do you want to know how? I shall share my secrets with you now. Feel blessed with this information for it will change your lives.

The Top Ten Ways to Survive Recruitment Week and Make it to Sunday Funday without setting yourself (or your sisters) on fire —

Disclaimer: This is mostly for girls, guys. You won’t enjoy the soppy shiz you are about to embark upon and read. But I guess, be my guest if you would like to. Furthermore, this reflects my own opinions and does not represent the greek system or my sorority as a whole. (I’ve always wanted to write that. I bet you think I’ve said some really intense stuff in here. Guess you’ll have to read to find out…)

10. Cry.

That’s right. Get that shit out! HOWEVER, don’t do it in the middle of a round. Or in front of everyone. But give yourself a few minutes of breathing, talk to your best friend, your mom, your dog on skype etc. and just do a little crying. Recruitment week is stressful. Sometimes, it’s good to just get out some emotion because you are constantly having to put your feelings on the back burner. Sophomore year, I called my mom balling because we got in trouble for putting fruit in the water during rounds from Panhellenic. I witnessed our recruitment chair get yelled at and for some reason, a dam inside of me broke and I started sobbing. My mom, who is not in the greek system probably thought I lost my mind and that she had sent her daughter to a loony bin. But honestly, after a solid 2 minutes of gulping for air and crying over fruit.. I felt ten times better! To any one reading this who hasn’t gone through recruitment, look at it as any event that you are under high stress. Sometimes, you just have to break something. Or cry. Crying involves less clean up. So let it out. Call me if you need to. Sista’s been there.

9. Have some ME time. When you spend two solid weeks with 75 plus other girls.. you start to hate the female sex AND you also begin to realize little things about people that you really, honestly don’t care for. Example: Susie never has anything positive to say. Kelly only talks about her cat and her boyfriend (yuck, I hate cats) and so on and so forth. It’s cool kids.. some people are better with a little alcohol in their system but since you are all are sober as a bunch of Betas at a senior bingo fundraiser, try to get away from the Susies and Kellys for a bit and get out. Get around some girls you really are getting along well with and go for a walk. I seriously had the best walks during recruitment. It was like a coffee date on steroids. Great bonding time….annnnndddd I can just feel the male population clicking out of this link. Sorry boys. This ones for the ladies.

8. Speaking of being negative, stop it right now. No one likes you. I’m serious. The girls who are constantly complaining are seriously like a disease that spreads like bird flu or anthrax. I’m not saying you have to be all Sally Sunshine (seriously don’t.. no one likes her either) but pick up the enthusiasm and get out there. If you start thinking of recruitment as a game show where the object is to find girls who are WINNERS then it’s a lot more fun. Oh, and you could be working in retail and folding t-shirts for 8 hours like myself. Fake it till you make it.


7. Worst case scenario, you have a girl who thinks her Dad is the President of the Universe and would rather eat her own foot than talk to you. THIS IS THE BEST TIME EVER. I am not kidding. There are so many things you can do with this situation:

  • You can tell her everything you had to eat that day.
  • You can challenge her to starring contest.
  • You can tell her that you can tell something is wrong and then try to psycho-analyze her.
  • You can say” wow that outfit must be a popular one.. I have seen 5 other girls wearing it! (guaranteed reaction to this)”
  • You can tell her your (insert fake dead pet) died today and that you don’t really feel like talking either and then act really sad.
  • You can all of a sudden have a fake british accent and see if she notices.
  • You can tell her as she’s leaving a la Dane Cook.. “Hey.. nice to meet you.” and then really quiet and solemn “.. But.. don’t get on the bus though. Trust me.”

Guys, don’t be a victim to a little high school bitch! They’re just awesome stories in disguise.

6. Share absolutely nothing. Lipgloss. Hairbrushes. Hairspray. Water bottles. Do you want to get sick? Do you want to be on your death bed by day three? THEN LISTEN TO ME AND DO NOT SHARE YOUR SHIT WITH ANY ONE. Oh, and don’t pretend to be sick when you really aren’t. We all know you’re faking.

5. Here’s another scenario for you. You meet the perfect girl. She’s fun and cute and intelligent and has a desire to get involved.. yadda yadda yadaa HELLLLLOOOOO RUSH CRUSH! Rush Crushes are a lot like actual crushes in that you need to be very careful with how you approach them if you don’t want to get hurt yourself. If I could count the number of times, I would watch girls get excited about a particular girl and then the very next day be devastated because she doesn’t return (myself included), I would stop folding clothes and start buying them. Two things you need to know about Rush Crushes:

1) Yes, she liked you. It wasn’t anything against you personally. She thought you were fun and great and exciting. BUT there are a lot of factors that go into picking a house. And maybe at the end of the day, your 20 minute conversation wasn’t enough to convince her. DON’T BE DEVASTATED! Because…

2) it doesn’t mean this girl can’t still be your friend. A lot of girls approach the rush crush situation as so: “Ugh. She didn’t pick my house? Why? I thought she liked me? Oh. She picked house ABC? Screw that. Total bitch.”

DO NOT DO THIS. Let me tell you a little story. Last year, as a senior, I still fell victim to a rush crush. Hi, Sierra.

This girl came all the way through preference round and I was almost positive I had her convinced. In the end? She chose a different house. It was a little sad but as a senior I realized that I liked her enough through our conversations that we could be friends beyond the insanity of rush week. Guess what girls? WERE STILL FRIENDS! Good friends. Go out to eat sushi and drink too much on dollar night friends. This can happen for you too! So please, for the love of god, don’t let your house define your friends. Don’t let your age define if you can hang out with a girl you genuinally liked! And remember, just because your first rush crush didn’t come back.. just like any other crush, there are many more fish in the sea. Approach every conversation like you are on the verge of meeting your new best friend and you will survive. Who knows? Maybe you will meet your best friend. Hi, Laura.

4. Do something crazy everyday. Maybe crazy for you is eating fruit loops instead of cheerios. There are varying degrees of crazy here. The point is the break up the monotony. If you do something that’s out of the ordinary it will remind you that this week is far from normal either. In essence, your crazy act will bring you back to reality. It’s backwards logic but it works. So break out in a disney song. Jump in Chi-O fountain. Get a little silly for your own sanity’s sake.

Stephanie, meet the King.

3. Be a shoulder. Not everyone’s thing is recruitment week. Some of you are going to nearly die from the process. It’s inevitable. But if you see someone who is about lose it, be there for them.

2. This one is not really a way to get through recruitment but a reminder of all the hard work that goes on behind the scenes. TODAY or TOMORROW or THE NEXT DAY.. thank your recruitment chair and her assistant. Go thank your advisors for the long unpaid hours they are putting in. Go thank your house cook for the food he’s been preparing. BE THANKFUL! There’s a lot of work that goes on that you aren’t even a part of.

  • With that said, on a personal note, Hannah– I know you will/are doing a tremendous job. You were made for this! I think I know sorority passion when I see it and I know this week will be a huge success for you. Remember, take deep breaths. I love you!!!

    Another rush crush making me proud. 🙂

And the number one way to survive recruitment week?

Realize that this will happen for four years of your life and then its over. Forever. Which might seem wonderfully exciting! But look at it this way.. every girl around you that has either become your best friend or is currently your best friend will eventually go off on their own after college. You won’t get to stay up late after recruitment and talk all night and eat junk food. You won’t be able to meet your potential new members and welcome them into your home on Bid day. You won’t be able to get crazy in the basement of each of your collective houses and because YOU ARE SO BORED AND TIRED AND ANNOYED from the most miserable week ever. The truth is, even if its just a little, you might miss where you are right now someday. Look at this as an adventure. It’s an adventure that eventually ends and then you get to go on with the rest of your school year. But it’s an opportunity to make memories and some of the best friends of your life!

Roommates 2010-2011. Four years of recruitment pain and still strong.

So go out there! Go get them! Make a sista proud.

Here’s to recruitment week 2011!

Dove Love…

Can't wait to see this year's babes.



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