My little goodbyes

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you must say goodbye to something. That could be a relationship or a memory or a particular place, regardless.. when sayonara comes to pass, there’s really not much else to say.

I’ve found though, that in saying goodbye to something really big, like an era in your life, you don’t just say goodbye to it all at once. You say goodbye in pieces. In little increments. And sometimes, you don’t even realize you need to say goodbye to something until it’s right in front of you and you realize it’s not yours anymore. Sometimes, you wait around because you know goodbye is coming but you just aren’t ready to pull the plug.

My brain in closet format

I’m incredibly and annoyingly nostalgic sometimes. However, I’m also not a huge pack rat so instead of physical memorabilia heaped high in my closet, I have stacks and stacks of mental keepsakes that I pile in my head attempting to preserve the past in a sort of subconscious crypt. It’s exactly as disturbing as it sounds. Basically, I can’t let go of certain memories because I’m afraid once I let go, then it’s like they never happened. Don’t try to talk me out of this retarded logic. I know that logically, if something happened, me remembering it hardly changes the fact that it once occurred. But to me, remembering something again and again is kind of like experiencing what I went through and felt over and over. And for certain memories, it’s ALMOST as good as the first time around.

How am I doing on being cryptic? Awesome? Good.

My point is that I’m beginning to realize that in order to let go, to move forward, to move on, to move upward, to start going in ANY direction, I need to clean out this memory closet. And that means saying goodbye to things that have been played back and forth in my head so many times, that at this point, they are probably more fantasy than reality.

Alas...this actually occurred

I think we all have a few memories like that. We give life to a little reminiscence making it a story with a characters and moral and an overarching theme and before you know it, that little memory would make a blockbuster hit at the box office if it would only happen ONE MORE TIME.

But the thing is, it’s just that. It’s only a memory. And it will never happen again. So, if all your little trivial reflections aren’t so much sustaining you into the future as much as chaining you to the past… You need to know when to say goodbye.

Said a few little goodbyes today…

But also a big hello to a little thing we also all know and love:

THE WEEKEND.

Have a good one!

m

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