one potato. two potato. three potato. vodka.

Deep thoughts with Meg Ruggieri

TOTAL Gryffindor.

Here are some thoughts that are running around in my brain this morning because God knows that I am not doing any actual running. Sigh.

I think you’ll enjoy… most of them.

1-  I really… don’t like beer. (!!!!!!!!!!!, I know) Honestly, after several beers, I feel like crawling into my bed with a pair of large grey sweatpants and eating an entire bag of Stacy’s Pita Chips and then falling into a deep food coma. I think I’ve actually done this exact thing several times. And it’s like if that is my goal in drinking, fine, but if I’m going out with friends and I’m at a bar.. you don’t want to be feeling like you want pita chips and sweatpants and your bed. This is not acceptable bar behavior. At least not before 1 AM. The lethargic full feeling beer gives me is not my ideal drinking experience. I mean I’ll drink it. If it’s free. (Do I need to stop having this attitude toward free alcohol now that I have graduated? Do I need to start having “taste”? Does this mean no more natty light? These are big life questions. I need to think about them for at least the next two years before I make any sort of major decision.)

2– On that note, I have determined that bartending has drastically changed my drinking expectations. For instance, I order a vast number of shots now whereas before I only ordered tequila (and a lime.. I’m not superman or anything). To say I am proud of this, would be kind of an understatement. After several drinks, I assure everyone that “it’s ok, I know what I’m doing I’m a bartender” and then order a ridiculous concoction that probably looks and tastes like shit. But it’s ok. Because I’m a bartender. It’s my own little license to kill.  And it makes me awesome. The end.

3– Are you aware of how much attention you get with a brace on your ankle and a slight limp? This man yesterday berated me down the entire street yesterday saying “GIRL! Don’t let the haters get you down! You still beautiful with that brace!” and so on and so forth to the point where I was no longer flattered and more just annoyed. I mean thank you sir but the day I start determining my beauty by the the attractiveness of my right ankle will be a day of great victory for narcissists everywhere. Oh, and then I went to Costco and I have decided that the key to multiple free samples without judgement is an ankle brace. These ladies were basically force feeding me. Ok girlfriend, I don’t want any more samples of  your spinach raviolis!!!!! ….Ok, fine. One more. (Yeah, don’t even act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

4– This is really random but I was just thinking about the terminology “keep your eyes peeled” and…. gross?? Go on, think about it. Peeled eyeballs are sick!!! (and not sick like cool. Sick like disgusting.)

5– Drunk eating. Let’s discuss. Most people are pretty straight forward in this. Get me to the nearest Taco Bell so I can devour something with beef and beans and cheese. This is understandable. This is normal. Do not have shame. There’s a reason for the fourth meal. What Taco Bell doesn’t say in their commercials is somewhere between 3 and 4, someone had one too many cervezas. In fact, they should really play that up. There’s some potential for some really funny commercials in that. ANYWAY, my point is not to make a blog product placement for T-bell but to rather talk about what I choose to eat after major alcoholic consumption. I’m not normal. At all. I eat weird shit. For example: last night, I came home and consumed two bags of blueberries and a veggie burger. Somewhere the Gods of drunk eating are crying. Really Meg? Blueberries?  Better than 100 cherry tomatoes though. Which I’ve also attempted to eat while intoxicated. Also a shout out to Lindsay Santee for joining me on the veggie burger fiesta festivities last night. Good times Lindsay won’t remember sadly.

6– My chalk board wall is done. And it’s

and that makes me happy.

I hope your weekend is filled with Taco Bell, Costco free samples, compliments from random strangers, impromptu dance parties, and no hangovers, hard tests or ankle injuries. But just in case you’re working through this weekend, remember this:

So you better make time to have some fun you crazy kid!

M

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