Top Ten Tuesday (on a Thursday) Thank you.. Jimmy.

This is a pretty accurate comparison of my life since the end of May. Somedays, I’m like:

YOU ARE GOING TO BE FINE! LIFE IS GOOD! YOU WILL SURVIVE! 

….and some days, I want to crawl into a small hole and cry.

It’s a constant up and down, high and low, somedays I’m the shot, somedays I’m the chaser rollercoaster experience. 

And I’m not going to lie when I say it sucks sometimes. I miss my friends. I miss feeling like I had a direction. I miss a bunch of things. But I’m not going to explain each one in detail because at this point, I think those of you who know what I am talking about know without me saying and those who don’t.. well, you will someday. 

Nope. Today is going to be an up on the roller coaster of my post-grad life. So in honor of that high, today is a Top Ten Tuesday. It’s Thursday I realize, but since I was busy being emo on Tuesday and Wednesday, I feel like the alliteration still stands to make Top Ten Thursday a possibility. 

So, inspired by Jimmy Fallon (my future husband) here is a list of:

The TOP TEN thank you’s I have been meaning to send:

*cue classic music* 

10) thank you…

HUGE EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT from any organization/business outside of Apple, for always being an epic disappointment. Hold on to the seat of your pants America, Company XYZ is releasing an exciting surprise in October!!!! (time passes. You get increasingly anxious for this surprise with every banner, commercial etc. etc.)….October comes. Oh, you have free shipping this month!? Sweet. So does Amazon. Assholes. I actually got excited for that surprise. I put it in my calender and everything. I feel used. 

9) thank you…

KCI airport logo. For looking like a diagram of BOTH a womans reproductive system and a mans…well. Thank you.

You are not only comical and awkward but also,very informative. 

 8) thank you….

Pit Bull’s Song “Give me Everything” for taking the concept of Carpe Diem (Seize the moment) and using it’s wisdom to increase his chances of sleeping with hot girls. Definitely a more creative way of saying “Hey, you should sleep with me tonight because tomorrow may never come but let’s say tomorrow does come, I’m probably not going to talk to you ever again.” Ahh, Pit Bull, you little charmer.

7) thank you…

homeless people for making it obvious you want money by literally shaking your cups of change at me as I walk by. I almost brought one of you a kitten the other day, but then I realized you were shaking a can of coins in my face, not a cup of cats. I never would have understood this without that clarification.

6) thank you...

guys who think the louder/bigger your exhaust pipe is, is in direct correlation with how manly you are. You are not only slowly destroying the environment, but also your chance with any woman in a 2 mile radius. You know what they say about loud and large exhaust pipes right?? …You’re an idiot, sweetie. 

5) thank you…

Pinterest. For being the most productive procrastination I may have ever experienced. Sorry, too busy to do anything else–  I am currently planning my home in ten years, a trip to morocco, as well as my wedding and several dinner parties that may never happen. But man, I am getting things DONE! 

4) thank you… 

Lady Gaga for constantly keeping me on my toes about your sexual orientation. Just when I think I have you pegged, you come to the VMAs dressed as a man. Not even a normal man either. This emo, greaser, chain-smoking footloose man. Which I appreciate. Which I don’t understand. 

me-ow

3) thank you…

man I met last weekend who graduated from KU 2 years before me and called himself a “schmeester“. Which refers to Shawnee Mission East HIGH SCHOOL. I don’t quite understand this fascination/borderline obsession with going to this particular high school but I surely hope all of you who proudly use it in introduction to the opposite sex NEVER leave Kansas City. Because I guarantee everywhere else in the country/world, women will stare at you in confusion and then excuse themselves to run away to the nearest grown-up in the vicinity. But wait, I didn’t finish. Thank you Shmeester man.. for the drink. It was delicious. And free. My favorite. 🙂

2) thank you…

Anemia. For sounding like a really cool sickness to have but is in reality,  just an insanely annoying and inconvenient physical ailment that makes me feel like I am going to die around 2 pm from exhaustion which is also appropriately the time I have to go into work and act like I like people. But also thank you because I don’t really like needles and because of you, I never have to give blood. 

And my number one long over due thank you this week??

Thank you…

To you! Whoever you are. For reading my sometimes silly, usually borderline inappropriate, periodically sad, rarely (but occasionally!) uber wise thoughts on here. I started writing this for myself but it makes me really happy, that it makes you happy. I wish I could buy you all a drink and toast you but that would get horribly expensive and if you approach me at a bar about this, I may act like I don’t know you for the sake of my own financial safety. However, as it is Thursday (and Thursday is the new Friday), maybe I’ll see you out. 

Thanks and good night!

M

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