close your eyes and blow.

Today is my 23rd birthday. 

…I don’t really know what to say about that actually. I guess mostly, it’s a Monday. I am sober. I have to work. Which is also fine! I like my job and I actually enjoy being sober (I know that’s a shocking statement) BUT ( and come on, you knew the but was coming).. I kind of can’t help but think about last year on this day.

It was graduation day. My entire family was in town. My best friends were all in one place. Everyone was celebrating anyway (so logically, I just assumed they were all celebrating my birthday as well) and honestly? It was easily one of the best days of my entire life (thus far. Let’s not sell ourselves short just yet). I remember sitting on a bar stool in the martini room thinking.. this is the best day of my life. Shit! Not Yet! How am I going to top this next year? Oh well. That’s a lonnnng freaking time from now. More tequila please. I am young, wild and free. Let’s drink to our youth! And my birthday! Yeehaw!

 (Also.. Nick, please send Mom and Dad home. No one should see me in this state.)

….

…..

….

(….= time passing)

…..Oh hello, 23rd birthday. Yikes. Where did you come from? 

I’m a bit of a mixed bag about this day. And where I am in life on it. I had a very introspective weekend where I dog-sat for my friend and spent about 67 percent of it in her apartment talking to this animal like it was a close and personal confident as I watched a Harry Potter marathon on tv and ate cereal out of a box. A couple of thoughts on this before I continue: 

1- I am way too young to be experiencing a scene out of a Renee Zellweger movie. Furthermore, if I am going to be experiencing one of those introspective finding myself Friday nights talking to animals and listening to Alanis Morrisette movie moments, I at least want it to be the Cameron Diaz drinking wine screaming the killers in a cottage in London scene. Come on, Universe. Do me a solid and throw me a bone on this one. (And an actual bone for my new BFF Pax)

Note: Dana, your dog is still alive. I know he looks dead here but I checked his pulse and he’s def still breathing.

Regardless, I think in both of these movies, Cameron and Renee end up with hot british dudes. So, I’m going to go ahead and assume my life will also follow this route. I think that’s fair. 

and 2) ….I don’t think I can speak enough on the subject that I wish Hogwarts was a real place and that I’m still very bitter about the fact that I am not a wizard. I feel like this is something I’m never going to get over. These are normal thoughts right? Alright,shut up. I spent a weekend with a dog. I’m lacking social normalcy right now.


Anyway, mostly, I’m putting serious effort into not pulling a “poor, poor, pitiful Meg and her sad little life in LA full of sunshine and puppies” day. But allow me to have a couple moments where I mourn the fact that I can’t re-live my previous birthday on a continuous life-reel for all of eternity. Just give me that. Ok? Ok. Thanks. 

So I was talking to a friend (an actual friend guys, no more dog jokes) about this a few days ago. How I was sad that things would be so different this year.  And this is what she said:

“Yeah. You could look at it like that. OR you could see it like this. You live in an awesome new city. You just got a great new job. You have fun new friends out there. And yeah, it’s a Monday and you’re at work and we aren’t all with you and it’s different than last year. But why can’t that still be a good thing?”

First of all, uh WOAH!? When did I go and become friends with effing Ghandi? That was some seriously insighful shit Carly McBride!  And second of all, she’s absolutely right. Here I am feeding all you guys this don’t dwell in the past, look to the future, keep your eyes in front inspirational mumbo-jumbo and I can’t even do that myself?

THE SHAME MEG.

THE SHAME. 

Alright kids. So I’m human ( I know, I know. You all thought I was a super hero). And I’m allowed some days where I fall off the Rhianna LIVE YOUR LIFE train and have to crawl back on board like some creepy Chris Brown character (I’m not exactly sure where I am going with this analogy but it’s fine, just run (it) with me here). Because honestly, She speaks the truth.

It’s perspective.

It’s attitude.

It’s all how you look at things. 

Because life is full of sober birthday mondays. Days where you can let yourself be several shades of sad over the day it isn’t OR you can let yourself be happy that it isn’t just a Monday. It’s your birthday. And that makes it at least a little bit better just by being that. So no, I’m not doing tequila shots at my desk (sadly). And I’m not celebrating with my best friends from college in my favorite bar in the world. And I’m not with my family. And I don’t even know if anyone at my job will know I’m 23 today. BUT THAT’S OK! Because I am going to be happy and celebrate regardless. Today is my day, friends. And I’m not letting anyone or anything take that from me. 

So in conclusion, Happy freaking birthday to me! I’m allowed to wish myself happy birthday right? 

….Oh well, screw it. I don’t care.

Doing it anyway. 

Thanks Bieber 🙂

m

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