A little snippet about Lemony Snicket

One time when I was 10 I went to a book signing of one of my favorite authors at the time, Lemony Snicket (who is actually not a real person but a pen name and it’s all very complicated and you probably don’t understand) and I went up to him and asked him for advice on someone who was going to write a book someday. I suppose whoever he was pretending to be wanted to really resonate with me because he stared at me very intently and said:

“You want to write a book?? Don’t. Because you’ll cry for years and years and years and then it will never be how you want it to be and you’ll be devastated and confused.  Instead, you should go swimming or learn how to sew.” 

If you’ve ever read “A Series of Unfortunate Events” then you will understand that this was simply his way of encouraging me to follow my dreams and thus, I smiled and thanked him and told him I would do everything he suggested. And though I never learned how to sew, I was quite the cross stitcher for a very serious stretch of the second half of 5th grade. I also decorated cakes in contests for 4-H (Google it) and for a  short period of time, we had a bunny named Pumpkin who used to escape from her cage and lay on the couch when we came home from the store.

Also, I was on the swim team and my very first day of practice the coach said ok everyone go do 100. And I thought he meant 100 laps and so immediately I got out and told my dad ok let’s get out of here, no way I’m doing 100 laps. I can’t even do 12 ( I was a cute but chubby child) and then my dad asked the coach about it and the coach said 100 was actually 4 laps. And I was like Oh. I can probably do that. So I went back into the water and I was on the team I think for about a year before I was like wait I’m just swimming in circles and then they give me a ribbon if I win and I’m kind of McKayla Maroney unimpressed about all of this. Also swim caps are kind of creepy and speedos make me uncomfortable.

My point here is that sometimes you actually shouldn’t learn how to sew or go swimming. You should just write a book even if it will probably make you cry because really that’s what you were supposed to do in the first place. Also, if you are a cross-stitching, swim cap wearing, cake decorating, bunny owning, slighty chubby pre-teen.. you can blame boys not liking you until well into high school entirely on children’s book authors.

The end. 

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