Just Saying: Vol. 2

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Just wondering but are there people in the world who eat broccoli and don’t get little green pieces stuck in their teeth? If so, I hate these people. I eat broccoli and I not only get little pieces stuck in my teeth but they choose to sit basically front tooth center to my embarrassing life.

Happy Monday.

This is the second installment of little thoughts with me. Tentatively also entitled ‘Just Saying’. Possibly entitled into the future as NOW YOU KNOW. Which is a little something Billy Nye used to do with science and it really worked for him so why can’t it work for me too?

Anyway. Enjoy these little morsels from the the mind of Meg. Because lucky for you.. there’s a lot where that came from.

– Speaking of morsels, I’ve been eating sweets lately like I’m saving up for some kind of holiday zombie apocalypse. I’m talking cupcake batter. Nutella. By the spoonfuls. I’ve been mixing banana pudding into my oatmeal. Last week, I ate a rice krispie treat for breakfast. This sugar related madness must end as quickly as KU’s march madness dreams. Trey Burke can you do what you did to KU to my sugar addiction? That’s something I’d actually appreciate from your talented evil ass. (As I type this eating a poppyseed muffin, feeling the hypocrisy of my words, swearing that IT WILL END!

…tomorrow.)

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– Is it bad that I constantly think if I ever get the chance to meet Justin Bieber I’m probably going to ask him to consider paying my college loans/credit card bill? I feel like if Lil Drip Drop or whatever the hell his hoodlum friends name is gets to drive around and wreck his car and then hold huge parties at his house without him there and still get to be considered one of his best friends, I have a good shot at him agreeing to help a sista out in exchange for me naming my first born after his new monkey, Mally.

– Did you know people are actually dieting for Coachella starting now? THIS IS NOT A DRILL CALIFORNIA!!! It is time to pay almost half a months rent to get so drunk and drugged out you remember 30.4% of a concert you will spend the rest of that percentage sleeping in a field and peeing on a tree. But dammit if you won’t look smokin’ hot while doing so. So start chugging those kale shakes and taking some large gusts of air for snacks. You got two months kids. And I better not catch you going buck wild on an economy sack of cheese in a storage closet. It’s neon bikini and latex body suit season and you have a fashion blogging photographer to impress.*

* Ps, fortunately, I’m not going to Coachella. But don’t you for a second think that’s not my follow up to Bieber’s rejection of paying off my college debt. Dude. At least buy me a 7 day juice cleanse and a VIP pass to coachella brah!?

– I know I am late to the Flipboard app party, but I’ve finally arrived, I’ve drank the spiked punch and let me tell you. Procrastination. For hours. But like, useful, interesting informative procrastinating. Which makes it productive and thus, not as bad as hours watching Game of Thrones right? (CC: cough cough Erin Lacey/ entire male population).

– Do you ever get done doing laundry and you’re taking your clothes out of the dryer and they’re like the perfect temperature and you legitimately want to crawl up inside your own dryer with your clean laundered clothing and take a little nap? Because this happens to me, pretty much every single time I do laundry. In fact, if I was a ~4 foot tall dwarf, I would have already done this on several occasions. Also if I were a cat. Who did it’s own laundry.

– Anna Kendrick is in my office right now. I am thisclose to busting out my rendition of Pitch Perfect’s Cup song for her which I spent about 24 hours in total learning about 3 months ago. For the full embarrassing story please view this lovely video below.  (Also, please note as I recently was quoted stating, ” I got a lot of enthusiasm.. not a lot of rhythm.” .. which is also clearly evident below.)

Also probably going to regret showing you all this two minutes post-posting. The flourescent lighting gets to you in here.

– Fun fact: A year ago today I filmed “Pregnant in Heels.” I was neither pregnant. Nor wore heels. My views on reality tv have changed forever.

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– Why are there free puppy adoptions every freaking weekend in Santa Monica? I need to stop day drinking. I’m literally going to wake up to a 4 legged friendly drunken mistake named Fido. And then I will be forced to keep it and love it forever.

Well it’s getting to that point in the day where I make less sense and choose instead to window shoe shop on Nordstrom and watch funny cat videos while pondering my future.

And so as Porky Pig (who clearly never went to Coachella) would say..

Tha-

tha-

tha-

tha-

that’s all (for now) folks.

M

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